“Believe it, you’ll be it.” This level of self belief is hard for so many of us when we’re already in denial of our own capabilities and qualities.
Many of us go through life believing that things don’t go the way we want them to because we don’t believe in ourselves. There’s a variety of reasons why we don’t but it’s all down to self acceptance.
We often choose to tell ourselves that we’re not right for the job, not clever enough or not pretty enough. Why on earth do we think those things?
Programming surfaces when we’re under pressure
Negative feelings arise when we’re under pressure or stressed. We’re more prone to ‘listen’ to those thoughts in tough times. The reason they come to mind during those times is because of conditioning or ‘programming’ that happened when we were younger.
Think back to your childhood. Were you ever told you weren’t fast enough to make the football team or just not pretty enough to be chosen for the prom? Did someone call you ‘fatty’ or ‘four eyes’? Did your parents refer to your clumsiness or lack of intelligence?
Negativity stays with us for a lifetime
Over years we hear negative and positive comments about ourselves and yet the more negative ones stay with us for our lifetime. They become part of our memory sets and attach themselves to the feelings they caused in us. These memories serve as points of reference when we grow up and we reach for those reference points whenever similar feelings are felt like stress, upset, extreme unhappiness.
They help establish our belief system.
We are shaped by others beliefs
What we forget is that this belief system is developed by others with their own belief system developed from others before them too. All young people learn from their family and their peers so many other belief systems impinge on one young persons beliefs.
This can make it difficult to recognise what beliefs are your own and which are attached to previous trauma or an event or even a piece of music.
We hear some beliefs over and over as we grow up especially those intended to hurt and abuse. They become entrenched in our minds and sadly, many are enforced by behaviors from family members.
Mothers transfer their beliefs to their children
Mothers are the first to subject their children to their beliefs system. It’s the way we learn. As children we believe what our parents tell us because we have no reason not to. This is where our first belief system develops from.
Our mothers will often repeat a belief that they inherited from their mother throughout your life making it part of the programming of your belief system. You may even find yourself repeating that same belief to your children. In this way we make our beliefs our children’s truths even those horrible ones about them being overweight or stupid.
We carry those truths for decades.
We are programmed from our youth
We are pre-programmed from birth and throughout school to believe what our teachers, parents, friends and friends parents believe. We don’t question if it’s right or wrong because we haven’t yet learned to question it as those truths come from people we love.
This programming stunts us. It can limit our courage to fight for our place in life as we already believe we don’t have the qualities necessary. Our long formed belief system tells us that we can’t do it or that we don’t deserve it. It tells us we won’t get the jobs, money, relationships or families and home we would love to have.
The sad part is that everyone who programmed you has probably been programmed in the same way without knowing they are doing the same thing.
Change your belief system to thrive
You need to change your own ‘programming’ and form your own belief system.
The best way to do this is to start an internal dialogue with yourself. Begin by acknowledging that things will work out for you.
Tell yourself that you know where your belief system came from but you’d like to add more to it. Start telling yourself that life is good and things are working out for you. Begin to rebuild more positive beliefs about yourself by adapting your response in stressful or traumatic situations.
And then OWN those beliefs instead.
Grow in confidence and happiness
This can take some time but you can do it. You already know that you’ve been uncomfortable with your belief system this far so why not change it?
When you replace a negative, untrue belief system with one that is positive and more in keeping with the destiny you have in mind for yourself the more great things will start to happen. As you experience new opportunities the more confident you will grow and the more you will thrive.
If you are tired of believing you just can’t get a job, lose that weight, be fitter, bolder, happier and healthier, give it a try.
Life is for the living so go on, get out there!